I was asked to give a talk by a man called Osbert Lancaster
an audience of 500 people in a Leicester square cinema in aid of these people
it was one of those events where there are lots of speakers – each one is
allowed 20 slides which change at 20 second intervals
you just have to gallop along and get the whole thing done in 400 seconds
there were some amazing speakers – round the world sailors, hang gliders who
flew over Afghanistan, long distance cyclists – real adventurers
and me
I got a review in this blog where the travel writer described me as deranged
http://www.bettertotravel.com/2012/06/25/boat-porn-and-undone-bras-a-night-of-adventure/
“But what to say about the star turn of the night, the deranged Dylan
Winter? His performance, delivered in an excitable, hectoring tone without a
microphone despite the size of the auditorium, spun an astonishing tale of
how his You Tube video about Canadian logger trucks became an unlikely
global hit, generating enough money for him to buy a tub of a boat and
voyage round the UK in it by fits and starts.”
there was another review from this bloke
http://inbetweendays.me.uk/inbetweendays/blog/2012/06/night-of-adventure/
Dylan’s talk is a must see and absolutely hysterical. ‘Turns out there are loads of middle-aged men who want to see another middle-aged man sail a shit boat round a small island.”
Well friends judge for yourself
This is the speech in full
KTL in 400 seconds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1KsFzIL2Yk
be gentle with me…. it was for charidee
as some of you will know the vast majority of what I said was true
I do hope I have not offended any of you because without you blokes I would
not be where I am today
- the owner of a great boat with no roller reefing and no outboard – but it
is one that should be tough enough to take me around the rest of the UK
and for those who asked
this is the link to the sound of the beast firing up
apparently you add it to the songs on your phone and choose it as the tone
https://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/keepturningleft/beast+ring+tone.mp3
So does that make you our official pornbroker?
loved it..
and talking of dirty old bottoms – its back to battle of the bilge…
Well done mate, great gig!
But what were you on?? If you’ve got any left I’ll try a bit ;-) !
adrenalin…. two small bottles of full caffiene coke. But I also knew that I had to get through the story. The mike they had was a tough one desigbned for announcements and I reckoned I could reach the back of the 500 seat auditorium with my voice without using the mike.
At sailors talks I usually gently take the pish out of myself and then my fellow sailors.
The other speakers had done such brilliant journeys – and most of them spoke without notes – full of admiration for them
You are a multi-talented man Dylan. Very funny stuff :-)
Wonderful, even better than the script you posted, well done. I hope you sold some DVDs.
Charidee do…. would have seemed rude to try flogging DVDs when the idea is to make money for http://www.hopeandhomes.org – I think they hit target – 500 seats at £20 a pop
Dylan
Dylan – that was brilliant – my side hurts!
Awesome Dylan, bloody fantastic. I bet they are still laughing now.
Julian
P.S when’s the next porn episode coming out?
‘Turns out there are loads of middle-aged men who want to see another middle-aged man sail a shit boat round a small island.” Oh gawd, I keep thinking I’m one of the young fellas. Hey Dylan, glad to see you’ve agreed to another series of Wallander.
I can’t see the similarity at all – but I will take the complements wherever I can get them…. and if you are yonger than me then you are a young man. If you are as old as me – then you are middle aged until you get to 75. But to my teenagers we are all old f@rts
