As some of you may know I write a column in this otherwise most excellent magazine.
You may remember that I consulted widely around the forums seeking advice on nurturing a good sailing wife.
Today I got a great email from Josh, who edits Small craft Advisor. They have had two letters of complaint about the article.
They are very excited because to get two letters on one subject is amazing. To get two letters from female readers has really knocked the poor MOBs back.
Hi Dylan,
A couple of letters about your latest column. Maybe you want to write a short something to follow the letters in the Reader Mail?
Have fun ;-)
Best,
Josh
Joshua Colvin
Small Craft Advisor
PO Box 1343
Port Townsend, WA 98368
www.smallcraftadvisor.com
PH 800-979-1930
PH 360-379-1930
This is the first
Issue 91; Jan/Feb 2015
I’ve been thinking about Dylan Winter’s tone and attitude in his ‘cute’ article about wives of sailors. I am the wife of a sailor. I am also a sailor. But Dylan’s article never refers to women sailors. His ‘good sailing wife’ is the old fashioned cliche of a woman. As much a stereotype of attitude as he is himself. A way of being funny? Perhaps to the members of that club.
I picture a gaggle of men hanging around the docks commiserating with each other about the handicap of wives who either won’t go sailing or won’t let them go sailing, or worse yet, really do want to go sailing and share in every aspect. I remember getting the same skeptical feeling about fishermen who came to my fly- in fishing camp years ago who would complain about their wives. I’d take them out fishing and listen to them brag about how much money their wives spent shopping, as if this were a burden. They liked complaining about ‘the wife.’ It was a way of belonging to an Owner’s Club.
That was back in the early ‘70s. Surely we have grown up along with the current two generations? The near contempt of a woman’s role in sailing is old fashioned and offensive. Joking remarks about keeping her ‘comfortable’ and ‘fashionably clothed’ and ‘well bathed’ are really more appropriate for a pet. With an attitude like this, is it any wonder that ‘the wife’ would rather be anywhere other than on a boat with ‘the husband?’ Surely it is better to accomplish companionship aboard or time alone without demeaning one’s partner.
Small Craft Advisor is an appealing magazine for women sailors. From my own experience sailing small boats I’ve learned that many women prefer small boats. Small boats are easily managed by one person, can sail close to shore, can be hauled up to a beach or shore quickly and easily, don’t cost a lot of money, are easily stored at home and easily launched for a day’s sail or overnights. When I sat at a Hobie booth at one of the Newport, RI fall boat shows with my book Beachcruising and Coastal Camping, mostly women approached my booth, dragging a man along. The women said they were attracted to being able to easily get ashore and explore using a small boat. To the women it looked manageable and fun.
and this was the second
As a small boat sailor and cruiser, I really enjoy Small Craft Advisor for writing about the adventures that everyone can experience on small boats. So I was dismayed to read in your Jan/Feb issue that as a "wife" I only enjoy shopping for expensive sailing clothes and forcing my spouse to limit sailing only to the few tmes when I give my permission. This hackneyed attempt at humor insults the many women sailors, like myself, who love sailing and messing around in small boats. Surely this magazine, of all the sailing magazines around, should recognize that everyone, not just a select few with the right "equipment" can experience the joy of sailing.
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I have sent my reply it is this
hahahahaha
good one Josh my man
Dear avid female sailors everywhere
what can I say?
I most sincerely opologise for the deeply offensive nature of my column. It is not the first time I have had to apologise. I am sure it will not be the last.
Obviously genralisations are dangerous - gender based generalisation are extremely dangerous.
In mitigation..... I have been sailing for 50 years and over that time have never seen at first hand a yacht of any size being sailing by a solo woman.
I have heard of them and followed the exploits of our own Ellen Macarthur, Naomi James, Dee Cafiri - excellent sailors in their own right but they are famous primarily because they are women who are sailors. Strip their gender out of the equation and their exploits would hardly deserve a mention in the media.
On the other hand I have seen and spoken to thousands of blokes who sail alone. Many of them tell me that they wished their wives would sail with them.
I confess that I did once see a yacht passing me on the Deben five years ago with two women in the cockpit.
"Blimey I thought to myself, that is unusual" . Then I saw a bloke hand mugs to tea up from the galley.
There are more blokes sailing yachts than there are women - a fact I am sure you would find hard to contest.
You tube tells me that 97 per cent of the people who watch my films are men aged 50 to 70. I assume that the subscription list to this most illustrious magazine will tell more or less the same story.
I am sorry that you took my words as offensive and out of date. However, I can only write for the those who are most likely to read my words and watch my films.
The people who visit my website have named themselves as MOB's (Mostly Old Blokes) and I am as comfortable with that moniker as they are.
I would love to hear from you how to nurture a good sailing husband. It should make a most entertaining read.
I would welcome your input to this difficult matter. As Josh says,
Just want to keep the tempest securely in the teacup.
what a nice bloke he is and what a great magazine. I commend it to you
PS this popped into my inbox
I thought I'd add my two cents worth to the debate about women in sailing - mainly, by providing some links about surveys on what keeps women out, and what has been done about overcoming those problems:
First off, the survey to find out what stopped women getting into sailing which was commissioned by my local state-based organisation, Yachting Victoria: http://www.foxsportspulse.com/
You yourself have mentioned the limited numbers of women you've seen in sailing. We seem to have more women actively involved in sailing here - 29%, according to the survey, and there have always been at least a few, throughout my sailing 'career', which has been good.
It helps enormously that there are now women in sailing who are very visible, such as the women you mentioned, or Dawn Riley (http://www.dawnriley.com/), or an Australian woman who is my sailing heroine: former female skipper of an 18 foot skiff, and navigator for the incredible Wild Oat XI and other yachts (including Volvo yachts), Adrienne Cahalan (https://en.wikipedia.org/
I was also impressed by the woman you showed tacking her way through anchored boats with two dinghies in tow.
Any increased visibility of women in sailing, or a reduction of the perception that women may not be welcome, will be good. On that, here are a couple more links about women in sailing:
Kayleen
We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
Human dignity is the inherently cumulative holistic combination of human rights, wellbeing and potential, and all actions or interaction which promote, realise or facilitate same. The converse also applies: whatever degrades, diminishes or robs humans of dignity, is inherently undignified.
I’m not sure they make a barge pole long enough for me to use to stay away from this one!
But having said that and knowing ‘ she who must…’ Will never read this……
Clearly the delight in your face when you get your wife or family on board is obvious.
So even if you cannot express yourself in a way to satisfy the ladies in your audience I think your sentiment is clear.
‘We like it when you can share this with us so how can we make it better for you?’
Warren
Oh. I thought it was Mouldy Old Blokes. Or that could just be me…..
And I can second that about Joshua, and their magazine.
It is of course obvious that mostly men are drawn to sailing or boating in general. Any activity where groups of men gather there is always going to be bitching and joking about wifes and woman. We have been venting in this way for at least 100 000 years and it isn’t going to stop now! Good on the strong woman for fighting for wage equality and all that kind of thing, but sometimes some get a bit carried away. Are we to believe they don’t bitch and whinge about us at knitting class or the nail salon, and make sexist jokes and giggle to each other about the male instructors buns at their ball room dancing class… They are no different to us and in fact, its the ones that want to stand up in this way that are more likely to bitch, whinge and joke about men than anyone else. These woman would do better to lighten up and come back with something funny about men, or even submit a humorous article themselves…. Thank god all woman don’t think like that…
Interesting question: Am I a MOB? If so, is it because I am one of the many, mostly old, blokes contributing to Dylan’s website or is it because I’m a bloke and mostly old? Can I be “mostly old”? I suppose some parts of me do feel younger than others but sadly they are mostly cerebral. My 6hp outboard has been sitting on a trolley for over a week now because I did my back in lifting it on there. Sometimes, when watching one of Dylan’s videos of an area that I used to sail in years ago my eyes become oddly moist but that’s just a bad anagram. To keep nearer the main topic, my wife and I built a 38ft. Wharram catamaran and I couldn’t have done it without her – I’d probably still be down the pub. Anyway, I’m not that old, I still have my whole life behind me.. er…
What I don’t understand is why you are taking the heat rather than Prof Windjammer.
Someone seems to always be standing in the margins with arms akimbo, tapping a foot and wagging their head, and being offended about something. You can’t please ’em or fix ’em, so why not just laugh at ’em. I think the letters give meat to your article.
These ladies obviously lack the ability to laugh at themselves and at life, traits you have in spades, as do many of us MOBs who follow your exploits, which makes your presentations so well received.
Keep sailing.
I guess not. Before she met me (we were both in our mid-forties) she had never been sailing. I know traditional role models are frowned upon nowadays but she turned out to be invaluable in the galley, turning out terrific meals in a rough sea while I hogged the helm to avoid getting sea-sick. We lived on the boat for nearly four years by which time she’d had enough (deservedly so) so we sadly sold the boat and bought a house.
Always remember that the people who write complaining letters to newspapers, magazines etc. are actually relatively few in number. There may be many people who agree with them but don’t take life so seriously as to be bothered to put pen to paper. And the internet makes it even easier to air one’s views. I can’t understand why seemingly intelligent people “twitter” for example. “Twitter” says it all as far as I’m concerned. And while we’re at it another thing that really annoys me………………..
That picture is the very best illustration of a long held personal philosophy…
The only issue of my sailing with my sailing partner who happily sails solo (in the Solent) is that ‘should’ I make perhaps a small technical mistake-ette (for example; running us up the putty) I never hear the bloody end of it….
Leave ’em at home I say….errrr …..I hope she doesn’t spot this
I am a MOG “Mostly Old Girl” !, and I enjoy watching KTL films , This year I am planing sailing solo around the UK, blowing part of my pension fund!. So you my come across a “OLD” solo woman sailor in your travels around Britain.